By John Ullman
Her ...
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. Kids scrawl out valentines to exchange at school. Stores are packed with cards, flowers and chocolates of every kind. Red and pink satin and lace lingerie litter the shopping malls. A day focused on couples, or at least coupling, makes it easy to forget that Love doesn’t have to be limited to only one person or that ...
“When it’s time to cum, you have to go,” was the humorous comment I’d often make as newcomers were introduced to “Rainbow”, which was an off premise Lifestyle Swing club. “Off premise” meant that dance activity was limited to making sensual and social connections; overt sexuality was not allowed. ...
Polyamory and the exact meaning of the word is often the subject of debate among self-identified polyamorous people. It has been much debated on websites, at conferences and discussion groups around the country. Even among leading polyamory activists the term is debated over and over again. What is the source of the controversy?
Webster’s Dictionary defines polyamory as “the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a ...
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The reason most traditional relationships end is due to one (or more) of what I’ll refer to as “The Three D’s”: Drifting, Dysfunction and Desire.
Drifting occurs when two people evolve in different directions, and no longer feel a common bond that they once shared. Of course, a certain degree of variation in interests and values is typical, but when members of a relationship have significantly “drifted ...
Annual testing for STIs (sexually transmitted infection) is something I believe every sexually active person should do for their health, not just for people who are in some form of open relationship but anyone sexually active. It is part of being safe and sane with our own health. Unfortunately testing can often be source of shame and negativity for women and men seeking testing.
For several years I chose to go to the Boulder Women’s clinic, a seemingly progressive place in ...
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I was recently asked, via my blog, to respond to the question I’ve listed below from a woman who was (like most of us) raised to be monogamous.
Upon reflection, I felt that my response may be helpful to readers who are still in the process of defining their values, or who perhaps have friends or family who try to challenge their choice to be polyamorous by stating it requires them to be “unfaithful” to their partner.
“Why is it ...
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I have learned that polyamory can be used to dissolve the ego, or enhance it. Similar to how nuclear technology can be used to either power a city or destroy it, the poly path can be utilized to bring us closer to peace, or create endless suffering through multiple attachments. In other words, we can let go of controlling others, or we can create multiple ...
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The concept of polyamory is often misunderstood by the general public and the media. Tell someone you are polyamorous and it conjures images for the average person of swing parties and clubs with people getting it on in dark corners or polygamous families with men controlling unhappy sister wives and lots of children. These images perpetuated by Hollywood are not polyamory, nor do they even represent ...
Back in college I went to a party with some friends who were visiting from out of town, and apparently one of the women at the party had noticed me. She called and asked if I’d like to go to a movie with her. I honestly had no recollection of who she was until we met, and it would turn out later that I actually liked her friend (a recurring theme for many years during my monogamous phase). The movie ...
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